Protection Pantoum

Poem and audio by Emma Alabaster

Part of me never leaves the bed

A holy altar with lover and cat

When my lover says they’d rather be a cloud

I fear they’ll leave too - like the others

A holy altar with lover and cat

A place no cop will take them from me

I fear they’ll leave too, like the others

The signs in the subway say: a man was lynched here

A place where no cops will take them

What if I had been on that train

Where the signs say: a man was lynched here

Would I, could I intervene?

What if I had been on that train

Or in front of that bulldozer or at Tayo’s house?

Would I, could I intervene?

Like my father’s smirk, I’m an only survivor

In front of that bulldozer or at Tayo’s house

I thought I was over my savior bullshit

But like my father’s smirk, I’m an only survivor

The doctor’s note says “cholesterol” and “lifestyle”

I thought I was over my savior bullshit

I watched them lead my lover away in cuffs

The doctor’s note says “cholesterol” and “lifestyle”

There are dissenters in Judaism today

I watched them lead my lover away in cuffs

I’d rather be the one with that sharp shoulder pain

There are dissenters in Judaism today

We symbolically place our bodies but the bombs don’t stop

I’d rather be the one with that sharp pain

My lover says they’d rather be a cloud

But we open the curtains to let the light in

And part of me never leaves our bed